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Johann-Octavius Xailenrath Gans (‘Johnny’ to his friends,  ‘Johann’ to his co-workers, ‘That One Black Guy’ to random suburbanites who lack the ability to retain details beyond the obvious) is a 41 year old cartoonist born under another name, somewhere in the 5 boroughs of New York City. Having been raised, ping-ponging back and forth, between there and The South throughout his formative years and then moving, slowly but steadily, West, his accent is, at times, either a hodgepodge of linguistic and colloquial sludge, or eerily plain and nondescript. He also tends to write in a far more loquacious manner than that in which he speaks.

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He has large, spidery hands, yet oddly thin wrists. He’s a bit twitchy around crowds, but is trying to get over that because he really wants to attend more conventions.

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Johann was another of those kids born in the far-flung 1970’s and raised by the television in the 1980’s, and has been an enormous fan of animated cartoons and superhero themed comic books since age 4. A self-proclaimed Storehouse of Useless Cartoon Trivia, he can tell you the name of Q*Bert’s girlfriend, Why GI Joe, Transformers, Inhumanoids and Jem & The Holograms all take place in the same shared universe, and exactly which version of the Scooby-Doo franchise first began to turn the cast of main characters into annoying stereotypical parodies of themselves. (Amazingly enough, it actually WASN’T Scrappy’s fault!!… this time.)

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Currently residing somewhere in Seattle, Washington, Johann strives to achieve what Hollywood defines as a “normal” life, without withering to stagnation, and to fully understand the Pacific Northwestern suburban mindstate. Both efforts are on-going and possibly in vain.

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Fried Rice. Lemon poppyseed muffins. Fruit Punch. The sublime mix of chocolate and peanut butter. Peter David’s earlier works on X-Factor and Young Justice. Fan art of his characters. These are things he loves, and will totally get him on your side if you give them to him. (He’s easy.)

He was lucky enough to find the love of his life, and hey, it only took him 37 years to do it! Her name is Deb. She is his world, despite the plethora of random realities and the characters therein that he has spent the better part of his life mentally vomitting onto various scraps of paper.

Despite his long-winded and often somewhat misanthropic nature, he’s really a nice guy who totally won’t don a metal mask, bucket-helmet, cape and Capital Letter Belt Buckle while trying shrink your nearest major metropolitan area and keep it in a snowglobe.

So, don’t worry, Johann doesn’t always talk about himself in the third person like this.  He only WISHES he were a supervillain.